Who The Hell Are These People?! (Nick, Joe, and Alix)

So, this is a new feature on the T2R Blog where we get to know members of the family a little bit better. Each day or two we'll post a couple of these and by the end, you're gonna know everyone so well, you'll never have to think twice about what to get us as a Christmas gift ever again. You'll just know.

NICK BLAEMIRE
Actor

Which Things To Ruin Song is your Favorite?

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii dont wanna decide, but if i have to, "sonofagun" or "never heard nothin" are pretty splendid.

If you were in the band, which instrument would you play (or want to play)?

id want to be as loud and dextrous as brent stranathan. but as solid and stolid as ian kagey. but as classy and dynamic as mike pettry. except as brazen and vivacious as joe. is that good?

If you were an actor in the show, which one would you want to be?

i wanna be badia so i can be the karate kid during "never heard nothin."

Do you have a pre-show ritual? What do you do to prepare?

i do actually, ive been listening to that song "effington" by ben folds before every show and i love it. i also spit a whole lot of phlegm into the trash can right next to katrina. i think she thinks its for her but its really for the trash can.

What is your favorite image on the platform?

the sex.

Is that actually a real whiskey shot you do on stage?

one of them is. im only a half pussy. i feel that if i had too all the jumping around i do would end me directly in the lap of the ugliest audience member in the theatre.

When was the first time you were ever on stage?

i was the narrator of "the homework machine" at bethesda academy for performing arts when i was 3. i was sick.

What's the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you on stage?

one time i punched myself in the nose during a dance number when i was wearing white. thats like a facial period.

What's your favorite ride at Disneyworld?

the tower of terror allows me to know what my stomach tastes like.

What's your favorite curse?

fuckballshittit.

Favorite fictional character?

matt hinkley's mom.

Ever know somebody who was in porn? Have you ever been in a porn?

matt hinkley's mom. yes. with matt hinkley's mom.

What is one thing that you really want everyone to know right now?!

that i fucked matt hinkley's mom. oh, and that THINGS TO RUIN is unstoppable.

ALIX CLAPS
Stage Manager

Which Things To Ruin Song is your favorite?

Tie: "Mamma, Cut Me Deeper" and "Never Heard Nothin' Like This Shit Here"

If you were in the band, which instrument would you play (or want to play)?

Bass. I don't actually know how to play the bass, but I want to.

If you were an actor in the show, which one would you want to be?

Hard to choose. Jason. His track looks like a lot of fun.

Do you have a pre-show ritual? What do you do to prepare?

I pour all the whiskey shots. I do it in private so I can drink a few myself.

What is your favorite image on the platform?

That purple leotard lady. I'm not sure whether I'm more amused by the leotard or the headband.

Is that actually a real whiskey shot you do on stage?

I gotta start bringing one into the booth with me....

When was the first time you were ever on stage?

In third grade, I was cast in our class play about slavery. I played the mother as part of an escaping slave family. Clearly I went to elementary school in the whitest town ever.

What's the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you on stage?

I've had some embarrassing headset moments, does that count?

What's your favorite ride at Disneyworld?

I'm a dork. I liked Epcot best.

What's your favorite curse?

Motherfucker!

Favorite fictional character?

Miranda from THE TEMPEST

Ever know somebody who was in porn? Have you ever been in a porn?

Not exactly, but as it turns out, I have a friend whose brother invented a new model of vibrator. If anyone is interested in buying, I can get you the website. (How does one explain that to one's parents, anyway?)

What is one thing that you really want everyone to know right now?!

Fuck yeah, Musical Theatre Enthusiasts! Even if we're performing on subway platforms, we'll be up and running again soon! So stay tuned. Because on Friday nights we've got THINGS TO RUIN!

JOE ICONIS
Writer/Piano Player/Sometimes Performer

Which T2R song is your Favorite?

Well, of all the tunes I wrote for the show, my personal favorite is probably the closer “Never Heard Nothing.” I think its messy and its too long and its one of those songs that was Very hard to write and when I finished I just kind of looked at it and it was like: “Oh. This is EXACTLY what I wanted this song to be.” I also like Mamma Cut. Incidentally, there are two songs of mine in the show that I hate. They are performed really well and directed beautifully and I hate them.

If you were in the cast, which part would you play (or want to play)?

Well, I’m in the cast, but I’m sort of in it in a weird way. I straddle the line between band dude and cast member. If I was just straight up in the cast, I'd wanna be the Jason track cuz of Dodge Ball. If I was a girl I'd wanna be the Badia track cuz of Everybody's At The Bar. I think the track I could do the most successfully would be the Lance track.

Do you have a pre-show ritual? What do you do to prepare?

I have a drink. And then I go stand in a specific spot in the lobby and drink some more. Then I hug as many people as I can and then I go backstage with Nick and Eric and jump up and down and talk about pornography. Katrina listens and is a good sport about the whole thing.

What is your favorite image on the platform?

I have a couple. There's some really nice hardcore lesbian action, an awesome pic of Dolly Parton, and a skull and cross bones Halloween card that my parents sent me.

Is that actually a real whiskey shot you do on stage?

Oh my goodness, yes. I also have a jack and coke that I'm supposed to drink but I never seem to get around to doing it.

When was the first time you were ever on stage?

In a kindergarten play about the alphabet. I was the letter "E."

What's the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you on stage?

I shat myself. That's a lie.

What's your favorite ride at Disneyworld?

Splash Mountain, ride. Carousel of Progress, show.

What's your favorite curse?

Pigfucker, favorite. Motherfucker, most used.

Favorite fictional character?

Rupert Pupkin.

Ever know somebody who was in porn? Have you ever been in a porn?

None of your business. I've never been in a porn, but porn plays a huge part in my life. If I didn't spend as much time as I do watching porn I'd get alot more done. But, also, I guess if I didn't watch as much, I wouldn't write songs about it. It all evens out.

What is one thing that you really want everyone to know right now?!

When I look at pictures of the cast and creatives of T2R, I can't help but smile huge. Also, there are three different types of pickles in my fridge right now. Also, I can't wait for Things To Ruin to start causing trouble in its brand new home. That was three things. Fuck you, rules.

That's all for now. More soon, guys!

Stay cold.

Blood and Pheromones,
Joe