A little HOT in the Biscuit

Second show at Second Stage is complete and it feels fuckin' awesome. Every time I'm saddled up next to Badia trying to apply lashes (she's much better at this game than I am) I get all kinds of excited. I strap on my bitch boots and wanna hug Mr. Iconis until he just can't breathe anymore because its thanks to him I get to kick some ass with these vocal chords.

last night was truly a pleasure. It felt good. It felt right. We rallied a lot of first timers who really heard us and stomped their feet, clapped their hands, and most likely ran home to get some sweet lovin'. Thats what our show does to people. Its amazing!

I plan to hit the streets with our team of wonder boys on Sunday to drag some more butts into those seats and show them what they've been missing while they were waiting for Wicked tickets and keeping fingers crossed for that Lion King business. We got the goods, kids and we're just chilling out on 43rd dying to share it with you.

I have to admit something here.. Sometimes, I google myself. I know, I know.. I think we all do it from time to time, but I wasn't a real googler until T2R when I wanted to know if there was buzz. I wanted to find out who was talking and where. I needed it. Like a drug, I needed to google myself and "Things to Ruin." This morning, I found a surprise waiting for me. You know that Post Secret page? It's this thing you send in postcards with secrets you haven't told anyone without a return address. They pick some, put 'em up on their website and even have a few books out with some of the best ones they've ever received. Well, there's a site that does this strictly about B'way. , I stumbled across something that made me feel like Horton's who, finally heard.

I know I'm gonna catch some backlash from the boys about this, but I don't care. I was excited. Lashes and all.

Blood and Pheromones,

Katrina

The. Show. Was. AWESOME. YESSSSAH!!!!

WE DID IT!!! ! WE DID IT!!! ! ! !!

THE SHOW OPENED LAST NIGHT AND WE GOT NOMINATED FOR 36 TONYS!!!! ! ! !


NEW RECORDDDD !! ! ! !! !!

WHAT AR EYOU WAITING FOR!??!?!?!? GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND SEE THIS SHOW ALREADY! ! ! ! !

BLOODDD DAND PHEROMONES AND TONYS,
LANCEE

rehearsals begin. nervous? me? NAH! yeah.

you guys. tomorrow starts the rigorous training process leading up to the OPENING NIGHT of things to ruin.

which, if you haven't been checking your page-a-day-calendars, is a mere 3 DAYS away. on monday. may 4th. 8 pm. in digital 3-D.

we are gonna get our butts whipped into shape!!! i'm nervous because i totally have fallen off my regimen of crunches. and, of course, we're going to start rehearsals like we always do, by doing 500 crunches. and i'm not going to be able to keep up, and it's going to be totally embarrassing!! ! !! !

but at least i know i can still rock the obstacle course in record time. (you should see nicky b on the monkey bars. oh wait, no you shouldn't. it's pathetic. LOL)

blood and pheromones and G.U.T.S.,
lance

Okay, who gave this asshat the password?

It was me. I did. I mean, I have it now, obviously, but I shant reveal my source. Is that a proper use of shant? I digress. I am Brent, the drummer and generaly late annoyance to Things to Ruin, and one of the four O.G. members. The others being Jason, Badia, and Pettry. Crazy, right? We've come a long way since those dark days in the summer of 2006. Holed up in our aunt's basement, sleeping on those foam bed pads. We barely had enough money to buy new laces for our chucks. Soon after Joe lost his job at the dry cleaners and had to live out of his car before we made it. Wait, that's not us, that's Nirvana. Sometimes I get my fantasies confused with the accomplishments of others. No biggie. My mamma loves me just the same.

The real reason for this post is just to say that we're now a week away from our show, and I couldn't be more excited to get back on a stage with these goofy bastards and lay it all out there for an audience. I mean it. I love playing, and I will play with pretty much anyone that asks, but I never, ever get the feeling of satisfaction I get after one of these shows. All of us pouring our all of our energy into the music and letting it fly free into the cosmos. it's just out there, for everyone. And the government can't touch it man! Cause it's ours, you know? You can't just run around with your "labels" and "rules" just to try and contain us with your mind nets. But how can you contain something that powerful? Tubes? Hah, nice try Mr. Scientist. Not this time. Not this time, indeed.

Back in January, I was so looking forward to having 8 Friday nights knowing that I'd be creatively satisfied, and then be able to hang out with each other, at least until Simpkins leaves. Bastard. And I was truly crushed when the Zipper closed. Although, of all ways to have a show get pulled, that's probably the best way to go. It still blew dead bears though, straight up...you know, because of rigor mortise. Typing really ruins a good boner joke. Make sure you read that with the proper beats. I'll come off as less creepy, but still a little disturbed. Healthy goals.

I think that's enough faking some form of mental instability for the sake of comedy with the result of possibly alienating half the people that read this.

So spread the love, kiddies. Go buy some used records, and then go buy some tickets for our show. Or at least the new Wilco dvd. Pretty sweet stuff. But still come a show of ours or two. And bring your friends. And then bring them to Dalton's. Eat some wings. Then go home and get it on, a real nice and slow cordial screw. No excuse to be unprofessional. Thank your partner afterward. Politeness is always appreciated. Then go to sleep without saying another word. Yes, sleep....sleeeep. Shhh, sleep.

That reminds me, I just watched Synecdoche, New York. I've never been more confused in my life! Like, I understood and made sense of what was going on, but then my brain would go "Wait, what the hell is going on?" Also, someone onced asked me if I was Philip Seymor Hoffman's brother. I'm not kidding. What an idiot. I'm way paler than that guy.


Ok folks, it's taco time.

Blood and Pheromones,
brent

thinking of you from sunny florida

Oh, Things to Ruin. I've known you since September of 2006 (though I've heard about you since way before that and was jealous and upset that I could not be with you right away), and we have had Such Amazing Times together.

I'm not going to lie, it was hard in January when you suddenly abandoned me. I know: "It wasn't my fault," you said. "It's the Zipper Theater." And I know in my heart that's true. (And how can I ever be mad at you when you look at me with those blood-shot puppydog eyes?)  But, nevertheless, it was tough.  I don't think you fully understand the power you have.  (And also you still had my black t-shirt, but I felt too awkward trying to contact you to get it back.)   

But you're back.  I was unpacking my groceries in my apartment, and suddenly two hands were covering my eyes, and a voice said, "Guess who?!" kinda crazy-like, and I couldn't see my groceries any more, but it was okay because I had a feeling it was Someone Good and not a Scary Robber.  And I was right.  It was you, Things to Ruin.  And I was so glad to see you. 

You helped me unpack my groceries and together we decided on a new spot to keep the cereal, and then we talked.  Just talked and talked for hours and hours.  

You are such an incredible show.  You move so many people, in all of your many incarnations.

But this incarnation I think will be the best of all.  You've had so many adventures and mis-adventures, and trials and tribulations, and you've learned so much through it all. 

Stephen Holden of the New York Times loves you so much.  But people will love you even more than he does.  And I will love you even more than they do.

Welcome back, Thingsy. 

Blood and Pheromones,

Lance

Laugh and Drink and Smile!

Holy Smokes you guys! What a week it has been here at the Things to Ruin house.
We got a pot of fresh shows cookin' on the stove, some amazing producers sleepin' in the guest room, and a shiny new car called 2econd Stage sittin' in the garage. We even got new cute little twitter runnin' around the house.

But that's how we like it here at T2R. One big happy family.

And it is with great excitement that we share our special news with you all. After an exhaustive search for a new home, Things to Ruin has once again found a place to rock n roll!
As promised, we are returning in a big way baby!

Here's the story as it was passed on to us.

Our amazing producers Sara Katz and Sh-K-Boom Records were out on a picnic with their good friend 2econd Stage, when over a PB+J and a juice box, 2econd Stage said,

"Hey guys, why the long faces? You know I don't like to see you when you are wearing frowns"

"Well," Sara said, "All these theaters are begging for us to bring Things to Ruin to them, but none of 'em feel right."

"That's the honest truth," Sh-K-Boom Records agreed, "We just know we'll feel in our guts when we find the right place. But until we do, Joe Iconis and all his friends over at Things to Ruin don't have a home."

Well, 2econd Stage, being as kind and open-hearted as their reputation suggests, put down the PB + J and outstretched their big arms.

"All those good T2R folks without a home? Not while I'm around!" 2econd Stage proclaimed. "Won't you come stay with us for a spell?"

Well Sara Katz and Sh-K-Boom Records didn't even need to speak. They felt it in their guts. This was right.

Hugs and hand shakes abounded.

And the rest is the stuff of tall tales and heros. You are just gonna have to see it to believe it.

And we here at the T2R house shed a tear of rock n roll joy. Cuz we could finally tell you about how our little show will go on. And most important of all, we will be able to share smiles and drinks and beautiful music with you all again. We are so excited in fact, we had Joe and SweetTooth record a lil' somethin' for ya.

Tickets are on sale and already going at a clip, so get some right now darlin'!!! Your internet wack? Don't you worry your pretty lil' head. Put your finger in the hole on the rotary phone and dial this number (212) 246-4422. They'll take you through the whole process. Easy as lemon pie.

And when you're laying in your bed, or sittin' in the office or just lookin' for some T2R news, we got lots of good ole fashioned fun you can sing your teeth into.

mrjoeiconis.com is always a good place to start.
We got thingstoruin.com up and runnin'.
We got us a spanky facebook invite and even that cute little twitter runnin' around.

How ever you like it, Things to Ruin will give it to ya.

Come see us, we miss you like crazy baby.

Blood and Pheremones,
The T2R Family

Take a Breath Girl and Dry Your Eyes

We here at T2R sure have been missing you all somethin' terrible these days.

After that unfortunate turn of events over at the Zipper Factory, we have been workin' our paws off to find just the right spot to bring our little show back to the world, because every day that goes by without a show is a day we cant sing you a spell or pass you a bottle. We happen to love doing both. We know, we know... we keep teasing you with when and where Things To Ruin might make its triumphant return. But rest assured babies, there is a new light on the horizon and some good news is close at hand. Just you wait, this one is gonna knock your socks off.

Check back soon and until you hear from us again, be good and keep them washboard nickels shined and your tambo ticklers limber.

Blood and Pheromones
Jason "SweetTooth" Williams